


dancing with your ghost.

by bledstars



Series: Claudeleth Week 2020 [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Claude is lonely and misses Byleth, Claudeleth week 2020, During the Time Skip, F/M, Pining, Yearning, claudleth week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:15:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26523547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bledstars/pseuds/bledstars
Summary: Find the partner that you never want to let go. Then those dances become an intimate way to show that person how special they are. It is a way to hold them, to guide them, to move in sync with them. To find each breath with each other, to feel—complete. That’s what it means to dance. It’s simply a journey to find the perfect partner. To find the person that would always know what the next step would be. The one you could trust. The one you could depend on. The one you would always feel safest around.PROMPT: Dancing/Royals
Relationships: My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan
Series: Claudeleth Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1851031
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	dancing with your ghost.

How much longer did he have to be here? How much longer must he pretend to smile and be at ease? There was a war going on just outside their borders, and while he was doing his best to maintain the peace, it was only a matter of time. The Alliance would be dragged into battle, for the Empire was a hungry monster that wanted to continue to consume everything in it’s path. 

A gloved hand clenching slowly into a fist, he stared at the ballroom. He was now ordained as the the new Duke of House Reigan, which meant that he was the new leader of the Alliance. It was just a few years ago he only had to deal with the Golden Deer, but now his responsibilities stretched across Fodlan. 

He watched some of his former classmates on the floor, trying to enjoy the night for what it was. Trying not to let the looming war overshadow the celebration. But he couldn’t quite make himself to do the same. It didn’t feel right to celebrate. 

So instead he did his next favorite pass time, people watching. He watched some flirt, he watched some coyly look over their fans. He saw his friends laugh and enjoy each other’s company. He saw some that were not originally from the Alliance come to find refuge after abandoning their former country. Like Caspar who sat with Hilda who laughed at something he had said. She looked happy. Genuinely happy, a rare sight lately for the pink haired woman who had taken her role as his right hand woman and general. 

She complained loudly about it when he first brought it up, but when she saw how much he needed her by his side, she sighed before making him promise that he owed her a favor. He saw Sylvain with Lorenz, probably talking about some new lover’s guide they had found.

“Duke Reigan…may I ask you to be my first dance?” The softness of her woman’s tone as she gazed at him through her lashes. A brave girl that saw that the most powerful man in the Alliance was standing to the side alone.

“I’m sorry I do not dance.” The smile on his lips did not reach his eyes as he gave her an apologetic nod. “I’m sure that there is someone more suitable to be your partner.” A lie that he had said over and over again in the last few years. He once loved dancing. It was one of the first things his mother had taught him about Fodlan. He found the Fodlan dances to be boring and too formal. And yet when his mother laughed and told him there was a secret to enjoying such boring and stiff dances. 

_Find the partner that you never want to let go._ Then those dances become an intimate way to show that person how special they are. It is a way to hold them, to guide them, to move in sync with them. To find each breath with each other, to feel— _complete._ That’s what it means to dance. It’s simply a journey to find the perfect partner. To find the person that would always know what the next step would be. The one you could trust. The one you could depend on. The one you would always feel safest around. 

And for him, he was lucky enough to find that person. To have found the person he wanted to save all his dances for. It wasn’t because she was graceful. She was actually quite the opposite, a little bit more stiff than she should be, a little bit more clumsy, but without a care of what others thought. She moved like she fought, with power, with purpose, with a precision more like a sword. His favorite thing in the world had become what it felt like to have his fingertips touch her back. To let his other hand wrap around hers, to hold her in his arms, to look down to see the most beautiful pair of blue eyes staring up at him. A small quirk of her lips that indicated how much she enjoyed this moment. 

How special he felt. How complete he felt. He never wanted to let go. He never wanted to lose this feeling that he felt in his chest. He never wanted to lose her. 

He was glad he was the one to take her first dance that evening and her last. He was glad that he spotted her before anyone else and took her hand. How he made her laugh low and softly when he whispered about his observation into her ear. How when he spun her, how her blue hair flew behind her. She looked beautiful and he had found her. His partner. A frightening concept because he had big dreams, and he was young. But as the music continued, he felt his heart beat faster and knew that his dream no longer felt so lonely. There was a place for her there, he wanted to carve it out for her. A place by his side that would always belong to her. 

“Do not jest Duke Reigan. According to the rumors, you were quite the dancer at the last Garreg Mach Ball—”

He flinched at the mention of the ball and his smile turned sour. He clenched his jaw tightly before his dark green eyes caught the attention of Lorenz who quickly noticed the shift in behavior of the normally playful Duke. 

“Let me rephrase, Lady…” 

“Sophia. My name is Sophia of House Wilmer. We are descents of Lamine.” 

“Right… Lady Sophia. I do not dance..with anyone but one person. And I will not dance again until it is with that partner.” 

“O-Oh…” 

“Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

“They said that you were not betrothed…that you did not have a lover.” 

And before Claude could say another word filled with venom, Lorenz quickly came to his side with Sylvian and the red haired knight quickly asked the young woman for a dance. Lorenz let out a sigh before he looked at Claude with a frown. “You can’t keep doing that. Eventually..you’ll have to stop avoiding everyone. You’ll have to…The Dukedom will require you to…” 

“It doesn’t matter. What I said wasn’t a lie.” 

“Claude.” A stern tone that made Claude finally look at his purple haired friend before sighing.

“Do you know what day it is today?” 

“A celebration of your rise to being the Duke..” 

“Wrong.” 

“It is also the day the Goddess Sothis was…” 

“Wrong.” 

“Then what the hell is it?!” 

“It’s Teach’s birthday today.” He responded quietly and then gave the purple haired man a sad smile over his shoulder. “Who would have thought that we’d only get to celebrate it once before…” A sharp inhale before emerald eyes lowered and he crossed his arms like he was cold. “It’s her birthday…”

“Oh…” The solemn air wrapped around them as Claude looked up at the ceiling of the Reigan estate. 

“We only got to celebrate it once and all I gave her was a stupid bracelet.”He said with a bitterness, a bite, a self loathing that Lorenz found rare in his leader. The way his jaw tightened, his green eyes sharp before he turned away and began walking out of the ballroom. Lorenz sighed before following behind him. His friend needed him now more than ever. There were few times a year where Claude would be like this, how could he have been so clueless. He should have planned for the celebration on another day. 

“She wore that bracelet until the day she—” 

“I know.” His jaw was tight, he flexed his fingers, curling them into a loose fist before he let go slowly. “It was the only thing we found of hers that day.” Claude said as he kept walking, Lorenz sighed and knew that it would not be impossible for him to bring him back to the party. He closed his eyes and could remember that day so clearly. The day he heard her scream for the first time in his life. 

Piercing through the air, despite the chaos surrounding them. Slicing through the sounds of clashing iron and steel. Something so distinctive that it cut through the loud sounds of the wveryn and pegasus wings that were surrounding them. Screams were a norm in war, that was a fact that he learned rather quickly on the battlefield. The cries of war, the yells of anger and anguish, they were surrounded by it.Hell, there was even a dragon on the battlefield, one that looked unmistakably like the Immaculate One. But that wasn’t as terrible as the sound of that scream.

There was no need for this singular scream to be so distinctive. To grab the attention of everyone, whipping their head around at the sound, trying to find the source.

It brought a chill down his spine. It felt wrong. Like it was the first time it was ever let out. A scream that made his heart thump against his chest, filled his mouth with bile. He felt like his very breath was knocked out him.

Who could it have belonged to? He thought as he grabbed another arrow and shot it at pegasus aimed at Lorenz.The purple haired noble turned to look at the leader of the Alliance before giving a nod of thanks and going back to striking thunder at their enemies. 

He knew three things about that scream. One, it was definitely a woman’s scream. Two it wasn’t any of his fellow students. And finally it was full of fear, not of death itself, but of failing. A scream full of desperation and anguish. A scream that was burned into his brain. A scream that rang in his ear as he tried his best by pulling out a sword and supporting Hilda as best he could as she swung her axe. 

_It couldn’t be her._ He thought as he swung his head around and looked for a familiar head of mint green hair. He saw Flayn sobbing as she tried her best to heal the wounded, one among them being Seteth. He saw Cyril help Lysethia up to her feet as she went to the next person that needed healing. He still didn’t see her, where the hell was she? 

Full of panic, he ran around with his classmate searching for her while the knights searched for Rhea. He didn’t give a a Pegasus’ ass of where the archbishop was. It was his Teach that he was looking for. He was positive that the scream that he heard was her’s. That something so raw and desperate, something that made him breathless and fearful. And he hoped he was wrong. He hoped that his intuition, the gut feeling that he had just lost the most important person in his life, was wrong. But damn it, he knew that was his Teach’s scream that kept repeating in his head as he stole a wvyern and swung his leg over the beast. He would deal with the consequences of pretending not to know how to ride later and people finding out that he was more than just your average rider. That was a future Claude problem, because right now, he had to find her. He had to find her, he had to find Byleth. 

He could hear Hilda cry out in pain as Mercedes healed up the poor girl. She had taken a hit with a spear and if it’s wasn’t for Ingaz’s quick eye, she might have been among the dead. He looked around and saw Dedue and Ingrid try to talk Dimitri out from walking on his broken leg. He could hear his fellow house leader screaming madly that he would kill the traitor. That the Emperor’s blood would run down his hand and he would offer her heart to the ghosts that haunted him. That there would be a price to be paid. Too far gone in his own madness that he could not see the living trying to keep him afloat. 

Chaos didn’t even begin to describe the scene before him. Whipping his head around, he kept looking for her, searching for a head of mint hair. 

“Claude!” He heard Lorenz call him and quickly saw the arrow aimed at him. Moving the wveryn swiftly, he saw the purple haired noble stab the soldier that tried to kill the leader of the alliance. Breathing heavily, he kept searching, he had to find her. He needed to find her. He couldn’t lose her. He repeated it over and over again in his head. 

She wouldn’t leave him alone. That would be too cruel and she was anything but cruel. She wouldn’t just vanish 

The day of the battle that they lost her, Claude didn’t want to believe it. He could see the panic in the eyes of his classmates as they searched high and low for Byleth. But she was gone, not even a trace of her left. As if she never existed to begin with. And at first, he should have been scared. He should have mourned, but this was the beginning of the war. And he needed to hold onto hope that she’d come back to his side, that she’d defy all odds and come back to him. She had done it before, she had come back from some dark magic, she came back looking different, but still her. He’d just have to wait. That’s all he’d have to do. That was all he could do.

He was alone on the rooftop, Lorenz had the decency to leave him alone to his thoughts and he could be alone with the moon. The moon that reminded him of her. Not because it was the color of her eyes or hair. But because of how beautiful it was. Surrounded by stars, a beacon of light that shined through the night. “I miss you…Byleth.” He never said her name once when he was her student. At least not out loud, and not directly to her. He whispered it in the dead of night. He called it out in his mind when he looked at her. He yelled it loudly when he lost her. Her name that left his lips so easily, tasted bittersweet. He wanted to see what expression she would make when he called her name. When he whispered her name into her ear. When he pressed his forehead against hers and in reverence called out her name. They were always dancing along the line of something and he was curious to see where it would lead them at the end of the year. 

She promised him that she would stand by his side to fulfill his dreams. She looked at him and reassured him that she would always be by his side. And he never felt more…safe. She filled his heart little by little. With words of encouragement that lifted his spirits even to this day. The words she spoke still lingered in his thoughts when he felt hopeless. She was still helping him grasp onto his dream tightly…even if she wasn’t here.With touches so light, he almost thought he imagined it. How he felt the ghost of her hand 

There was an emptiness in his chest that he could not describe. A coldness that he did not deny. The absence of her, he could feel it throughout his body. In the lonely way his hand clenched tightly when felt particularly stressed and wishing it was her hand. Warm and giving him comfort in something as simple as his touch. He longed to see her, blue hair, blue eyes, mint hair, mint eyes. He didn’t care, he just needed to see her. Needed to see her soft gaze as she looked at him over her book. Needed to see her as she pondered over a paper. Needed to see that smile as she took a bite of her food and listened carefully to every word he said, every story he ever told her. He missed her in ways he did not know how could miss someone. 

He wondered if forgetting her would have been better, but then he’d quickly shake his head. No. He would rather feel the pain of losing her, scattered and piercing him throughout his entire body than to feel nothing at all. To no longer remember what his body missed most, would be a hell that he never wanted to experience. How much longer can he hold on to the phantom feeling in his hand? He could practically feel her dancing with him again. 

“Claude?” A soft and familiar called out and he turned around to see nothing and he felt his heart sink. He stared at nothing and yet his feet moved. Back and forth, to the beat of a Fodlan waltz. Closing his eyes, he felt like he was young again. He felt like she was with him again. He felt a bit insane. But maybe that was what loneliness did. Maybe that was how his heart will cope without her touch. He found the partner he had longed for. He found the person that he wanted dance all his life with. The partner that he could trust, the one that would be in sync with him. The one that he wanted to pull in closer and even if they parted, they would come back together. 

He knew that it could only be her. It would only be her. His forever partner. 

“Two more years until….” He stared up at the stars and then below down to the city. “You promised we’d all meet for…I know you aren’t one to break your promise…and You did promise me your first dance for that day too..I’ll make sure you keep it, Friend.” Friend…It didn’t seem like the right way to convey his feelings for her, but until he saw her, it’ll be where he kept her in. His eyes was filled with an empty loneliness that echoed throughout his chest. Taking out a golden dainty bracelet from his pocket, he stared at it before pressing his lips against the deer charm. “Please…I miss dancing with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Funny...story......This fic I actually started on August 9th of 2019..That's right..2019..I had a few scenes written and completely felt uninspired. Then I brought it back up when it was time for ClaudeLeth Week...which i am Disgracefully late for. But It's finished! And I really remembered how much I love this ship. How much i'd die for them. how they are truly my everything and all. I love them so much and I don't know...writing bitter claude is very....it just pulls at my heartstrings.
> 
> Prompt: Dancing/Royals.  
> Song Inspo: Dancing With Your Ghost - Sasha Sloan 
> 
> Anyways, let me know what you thought! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!  
> twitter@bledstars


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